Ravings of a Random Mind...

When I was younger, I subscribed to the ideal of the white picket fence, 3BR house, a husband, a dog, some number of kids... the whole shebang. I was going to be one of those "normal gays". I've since grown up and realised that I'm not. Not now, and not ever going to be. That is not to cast dispersions upon those who've done exactly that. Some of us really are "just like you", and there is nothing wrong with that. Some of my best friends... Yeah, you know where that's going. Seriously though, it's a perfectly viable option. For someone else. I've learned a lot about myself since my early 20s, and one of those things is that I'm not suited to the nuclear family dynamic. I used to think that this meant that there were certain things I was just going to have to miss out on. Children being primary among them. If I wanted kids, I was going to have to have a partner to raise them, right? That's how it's done, properly. Being a singl...

This last weekend I went to see the new Guardians of the Galaxy film with my friend JMc. Before the film, we decided to get dinner, and since he's new to Seattle - recently transplanted from London - and there are a number of places I haven't yet been to, I took the opportunity to suggest DragonFish . It was close to the movie theatre, and I'd always walked past it on my way to someplace else, thinking I'd make a point of going later. Of course, later never really happens unless it's on the calendar. I arrived early, put my name in for a table, and was seated outside on the patio. The weather was nice (I'd just spent the afternoon at the beach), the sun was still up, and it was quite warm for Seattle. When JMc joined me a few minutes later, we commented on the lovely weather, "How often do I get to sit outside in Seattle without a cover?" The waitress came by and took our first orders - we didn't really decide to do a sort of tapas, one plate a...

Summertime was always my favourite season. Specifically, the beginning of summer, when the world is just starting to really warm up, and the whole summer lies before you, ripening with possibility. Opportunities abound, nothing is planned, and everyone is drunk with freedom. My birthday is at the beginning of summer, which adds to the festive atmosphere; like I get to kick off the summer celebrating my life, and then get to go out and live it.  This summer is different. This summer I turn 38. This summer I am single, again. I have been single now for three weeks. Three very long weeks. It isn't that I am not used to breakups. This one is different. For whatever reason, this is the first time that when it ended, whether by me or him, this is the first time that I wasn't able to turn around, walk away, and move on. This is the first time I have been haunted by the ghost of him.  This is the first summer where I am not excited by the possibilities that lie ahead, because I am sti...