I hate douches.
Let me say that again. I REALLY hate douches.
If you are a douche and you own it, I will not like you, but I will respect you. If you are a "closet douche", who likes to pretend you're a nice person to gain the trust of others and THEN exhibit your douchiness, then I only have two words for you.
FUCK OFF.
Rewind...
I met a guy - we'll call him ANDREW, cause that's his name - about a year and a half ago, and we got along fine. We worked together, and we became friends. So about 6 months ago he's having trouble with his boyfriend and needs help moving out. I'm not really staying at home a whole lot, so I say "Sure, you can crash at my place," (RENT FREE - Mistake #1). Things move along, and pretty soon I'm thinking it might be a great idea to get a place together (Mistake #2). I need more space, we get along, he's a nice guy, (I can't keep my apartment and go back to college, since it's income-restricted, downtown) yada yada yada...
So we move into a new apartment up the Hill. Two bedrooms. Nice place. We sign a lease, a roommate agreement, set up house, et cetera. Things are going pretty swell. At first.
No money for cat food? Sure, I'll pick it up. Cat litter either? No worries. You ate my cereal? Drank all the soy milk? It's fine, I'll get some more...
Oki, I was pissed when your boyfriend was wearing my clothes - and I told you about it. And when your cat started pissing on the floor - I told you about that too. You said you'd fix it. It took too long.
I still don't have my clothes back... And now?
You can't get caught up, and you need to break our lease? You're SORRY (and no, you don't get to call me "my friend" any more. Friends don't do this shit. That means we were NEVER friends. You mooched off of me. You're not a friend. You're a leech.)
You're a douche.
And let me tell you why...
Wait. You can't afford to live here? Why don't you have money? You "work" two jobs - 70 hours a week... You were supposed to take the time you were living in my flat rent free to "get caught up," so why aren't you? You've been struggling? So what! We all struggle from time to time. The thing is to MAN UP and ask for help when you need it, or to do what it takes to remedy the situation, not BAIL on your responsibilities; avoiding the landlord and your roommates by not answering your email, phone calls or text messages and hiding out at your boyfriend's house (where none of us know where you are).
You lost a job because you called out sick once? BULLSHIT. No employer fires you for calling out to work ONCE.
Then your cat... the bastard is pissing all over the house. Why? He's pissed off you're not home to take care of him. He's acting out. The REAL problem? Now, even though you sent him away (since you can't care for him ANYWAY... probably the ONLY responsible thing you've done lately) I'm still cleaning up after him. AND YOU.
I have no time in my life for you. NO, we cannot be friends at some later point, when you've "figured out" your shit. You and I are done.
Done and done.
Let me say that again. I REALLY hate douches.
If you are a douche and you own it, I will not like you, but I will respect you. If you are a "closet douche", who likes to pretend you're a nice person to gain the trust of others and THEN exhibit your douchiness, then I only have two words for you.
FUCK OFF.
Rewind...
I met a guy - we'll call him ANDREW, cause that's his name - about a year and a half ago, and we got along fine. We worked together, and we became friends. So about 6 months ago he's having trouble with his boyfriend and needs help moving out. I'm not really staying at home a whole lot, so I say "Sure, you can crash at my place," (RENT FREE - Mistake #1). Things move along, and pretty soon I'm thinking it might be a great idea to get a place together (Mistake #2). I need more space, we get along, he's a nice guy, (I can't keep my apartment and go back to college, since it's income-restricted, downtown) yada yada yada...
So we move into a new apartment up the Hill. Two bedrooms. Nice place. We sign a lease, a roommate agreement, set up house, et cetera. Things are going pretty swell. At first.
No money for cat food? Sure, I'll pick it up. Cat litter either? No worries. You ate my cereal? Drank all the soy milk? It's fine, I'll get some more...
Oki, I was pissed when your boyfriend was wearing my clothes - and I told you about it. And when your cat started pissing on the floor - I told you about that too. You said you'd fix it. It took too long.
I still don't have my clothes back... And now?
You can't get caught up, and you need to break our lease? You're SORRY (and no, you don't get to call me "my friend" any more. Friends don't do this shit. That means we were NEVER friends. You mooched off of me. You're not a friend. You're a leech.)
You're a douche.
And let me tell you why...
Wait. You can't afford to live here? Why don't you have money? You "work" two jobs - 70 hours a week... You were supposed to take the time you were living in my flat rent free to "get caught up," so why aren't you? You've been struggling? So what! We all struggle from time to time. The thing is to MAN UP and ask for help when you need it, or to do what it takes to remedy the situation, not BAIL on your responsibilities; avoiding the landlord and your roommates by not answering your email, phone calls or text messages and hiding out at your boyfriend's house (where none of us know where you are).
You lost a job because you called out sick once? BULLSHIT. No employer fires you for calling out to work ONCE.
Then your cat... the bastard is pissing all over the house. Why? He's pissed off you're not home to take care of him. He's acting out. The REAL problem? Now, even though you sent him away (since you can't care for him ANYWAY... probably the ONLY responsible thing you've done lately) I'm still cleaning up after him. AND YOU.
I have no time in my life for you. NO, we cannot be friends at some later point, when you've "figured out" your shit. You and I are done.
Done and done.
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