There seems to be a large segment of my community (that would be the LGBTQI... Community) who, while on the one hand are quick to demonise Heteros as Homophobes, also seem to turn those same Hetero Hunks into sexual objects. I've never understood the idea that one would be so attracted to something that one simultaneously finds so repellent. Nor have I ever understood the twisted logic it takes to reverse-misogynize them into sexual objects as a means of disempowerment.
I don't fall for "Straight Boys".
Sure, I find all kinds of men attractive. Men. Guys who know who they are and project the confidence that goes along with that. I REALLY fall for guys who look at me and say "Wow, you're amazing, and I want to spend time with you"; guys who are interesting, well-balanced, and impetuous enough that I turn around and say "Absolutely! You're intriguing, tell me more."
This petty posturing of "I'm Straight", or "but... Gay?" is ridiculous. In the end, the only thing that ever matters, and ever should, is that two people make each other happier together than either of them is apart. If you find that, it doesn't matter what gender they are, what they look like, whether there is a sexual element to your relationship or not. The only people who have any right to define your relationships are those IN them WITH you. Everybody else is just a spectator on the sidelines. Whatever you have, with whomever you have it, it's yours. You define it. You give it value.
I don't fall for "Straight Boys" because they are too tied into how others view them to admit to any interest in me. If you're not interested in me, I'm not interested in you. I have a life to live, things to do, places I want to go before they put me into the ground, and I don't have time to waste chasing you down or pining after you. I WANT to be happy. I want to enjoy my life. Missing you because you're too much of a coward to admit that you'd rather be here with me than avoiding me; too much of a douche to think about what you say to me, and would rather point out what's 'wrong' with me so that nobody sees it in you? I have better things to do with my time.
Would I date a Hetero guy? Absolutely. Just because he's always dated women doesn't mean I won't catch his attention. It's also conceivable that I would date a woman, because it's possible that she could catch mine. Is it likely? Probably not, because of the society in which we live, that tells us that we're all part of a binary system, and anything outside of that is abnormal. This binary system is slowly expanding, so now it's more than just two genders, but two sexual identities for each (MALE-Hetero, MALE-Gay, FEMALE-Hetero, FEMALE-Lesbian). It's progress, but it's not enough. Human sexuality is a complex composition of many things, and really fits more like wavelengths along a spectrum, not a series of binary switches. The ideas that we need these labels, that sexuality needs to be defined, and that those definitions are absolute is the worst kind of societal self-delusion. The only thing you're doing here is limiting your options for finding something of value, something that makes you happy.
Stop.
I'm not the only one who doesn't fall for "Straight Boys", and you just might be missing out on the best thing to walk into (and out of) your life. Don't be afraid of love. Don't be afraid of being happy. Just... don't be afraid, full stop.
I don't fall for "Straight Boys".
Sure, I find all kinds of men attractive. Men. Guys who know who they are and project the confidence that goes along with that. I REALLY fall for guys who look at me and say "Wow, you're amazing, and I want to spend time with you"; guys who are interesting, well-balanced, and impetuous enough that I turn around and say "Absolutely! You're intriguing, tell me more."
This petty posturing of "I'm Straight", or "but... Gay?" is ridiculous. In the end, the only thing that ever matters, and ever should, is that two people make each other happier together than either of them is apart. If you find that, it doesn't matter what gender they are, what they look like, whether there is a sexual element to your relationship or not. The only people who have any right to define your relationships are those IN them WITH you. Everybody else is just a spectator on the sidelines. Whatever you have, with whomever you have it, it's yours. You define it. You give it value.
I don't fall for "Straight Boys" because they are too tied into how others view them to admit to any interest in me. If you're not interested in me, I'm not interested in you. I have a life to live, things to do, places I want to go before they put me into the ground, and I don't have time to waste chasing you down or pining after you. I WANT to be happy. I want to enjoy my life. Missing you because you're too much of a coward to admit that you'd rather be here with me than avoiding me; too much of a douche to think about what you say to me, and would rather point out what's 'wrong' with me so that nobody sees it in you? I have better things to do with my time.
Would I date a Hetero guy? Absolutely. Just because he's always dated women doesn't mean I won't catch his attention. It's also conceivable that I would date a woman, because it's possible that she could catch mine. Is it likely? Probably not, because of the society in which we live, that tells us that we're all part of a binary system, and anything outside of that is abnormal. This binary system is slowly expanding, so now it's more than just two genders, but two sexual identities for each (MALE-Hetero, MALE-Gay, FEMALE-Hetero, FEMALE-Lesbian). It's progress, but it's not enough. Human sexuality is a complex composition of many things, and really fits more like wavelengths along a spectrum, not a series of binary switches. The ideas that we need these labels, that sexuality needs to be defined, and that those definitions are absolute is the worst kind of societal self-delusion. The only thing you're doing here is limiting your options for finding something of value, something that makes you happy.
Stop.
I'm not the only one who doesn't fall for "Straight Boys", and you just might be missing out on the best thing to walk into (and out of) your life. Don't be afraid of love. Don't be afraid of being happy. Just... don't be afraid, full stop.
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