Ravings of a Random Mind...

When I was younger, I subscribed to the ideal of the white picket fence, 3BR house, a husband, a dog, some number of kids... the whole shebang. I was going to be one of those "normal gays". I've since grown up and realised that I'm not. Not now, and not ever going to be. That is not to cast dispersions upon those who've done exactly that. Some of us really are "just like you", and there is nothing wrong with that. Some of my best friends... Yeah, you know where that's going. Seriously though, it's a perfectly viable option. For someone else. I've learned a lot about myself since my early 20s, and one of those things is that I'm not suited to the nuclear family dynamic. I used to think that this meant that there were certain things I was just going to have to miss out on. Children being primary among them. If I wanted kids, I was going to have to have a partner to raise them, right? That's how it's done, properly. Being a singl...

The idea of this was that it would be written more as prose, but that it should be read more as poetry. As such, some of it is symbolic, a bit disjointed, sort of stream-of-consciousness. _______________________________________________ The other day I was walking past the University commons, and I thought about what might have been. How much I miss you, and how I would have done things differently if I had them to do again. The different choices I would make to keep you from leaving. I kept going back further and further, changing the timeline again and again, until I got to the point where we met... and I kept going. How different our lives would have been if I could go way back, back before we were both damaged by those we'd been with before we met. I went all the way back to my High School graduation, these 20 years gone. If I had gone to NKU right out of school, and known what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, instead of allowing others to dictate to me what I should be ...