[Some Number of] Lessons I Hope to Teach My Child(ren)...

I thought I'd make a "Top Ten" or whatever random numbered list of things I have learned in my life (some of them quite recently) that I wanted to be sure to impart to any offspring I put out into the world, but then I decided I liked the idea of a rambling sort of account, since that's the way I think most times. Then I reconsidered, because what if I want to reference things? It's much easier to say "See #17", than "Remember That Thing I Said About Being Happy?"

So the list is numbered, but many of these things are going to be interrelated, some may repeat, but are stated in different ways, or may be different evolutions of the same thought. What can I say, I ramble, I like metaphors, and if I can find a better metaphor, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to abandon the one previous.

There will probably be further posts referencing this one, expounding upon it, et cetera. Well, I'm not dead, yet, and until I am, I fully intend to keep learning new things. Otherwise, what's the point of it all?

Anyway, here goes:

1. BE HAPPY. Seriously, it seems simple, but of all the people you can do something for to please, the only one who is going to be there with you from open to close is YOU. BE HAPPY. Actively pursue happiness. Do what makes you happy. If it makes you happy to make other people happy, DO IT. If it makes you happy to leave them out of your merrymaking, then don't feel guilty about it.
2. GUILT SUCKS. It's really just a tool to make you do what others want you to do. If you feel guilty about doing something you really wanted to do, examine that guilt; it's going to be one of two things - 1. You knew it was something you wouldn't approve of if somebody else did it, and you probably shouldn't have done it, or 2. Somebody else made you think that it was bad, even though nobody got hurt, and no damage was done by it. Either way, avoid guilt. The second bit is easy - nobody has a right to make you feel bad for making your own choices. The first bit is a bit more complicated, because it involves
3. CREATE YOUR OWN MORALS. Don't just do things because I said so. Definitely don't do things because anyone ELSE told you to. Make up your own mind. Ask why. Ask A LOT of whys.
4. TRUST. there are a great many paths to a great many destinations, but every road to Love passes through Trust. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Seriously. You will have to open yourself up to someone (or several someones) if you want to experience any kind of deeper connection with them. Yes, this will make you vulnerable, but if you want them to love you back, you're going to have to trust them with access to you. The one(s) who can heal you can also hurt you. The one(s) who know how to make you truly happy will also know how to piss you the fuck off, or worse, to make you morose and doubt yourself and your place in the(ir) world. You will simply have to trust them not to, or to apologise and do all they can to repair the damage done when they inadvertently do so.
5. KNOW WHO TO TRUST. You have to trust some people, but YOU DO NOT NEED TO TRUST EVERYONE. Nor should you. In fact, please don't. I always try to start by believing people when I meet them. If they are a liar, alarms will go off, and I know not to trust them. A LIAR IS ANYONE WHOSE ACTIONS DO NOT MATCH THEIR WORDS. Some lie with the intention of lying. Some lie to hurt, some out of a desire to help or to protect you from the truth. Some lie out of fear. Some simply do not realise they're lying. Educate yourself on the various types of liars, how to recognise them, and how far you're willing to let them into your life. Some liars are entertaining, properly contained. Some are sneaky, and will try to wedge themselves into your life. Some will even get through undetected. Be on your guard, but do not live your life at DEFCON4.