I do not believe in Perfection; in fact, I firmly believe in Imperfection. Not as a goal to achieve, but as a reality of the world in which we live. No one, and nothing, is ever going to be perfect. This is not to say that one should not strive to better one's self; quite the contrary. One should always seek to improve one's self. Not to be perfect, but to be a better version of one's self than previous.
In Judaism, we have 613 Mitzvot (commandments). Basically, every time in the Torah (the first 5 books of the Bible - Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Deuteronomy, and Numbers) where the text reads "...and G-d said 'Do ______'", or "...G-d said, 'Do Not _____'", that is a Mitzvah - "Commanded by G-d" - to do, or to avoid doing these things. It is quite impossible to do all of them, especially as a great number of them deal specifically with rituals to be performed only by the High Priest in the Temple in Jerusalem. These Temple rituals cannot be performed when there is no High Priest, and no Temple. Therefore, it is impossible to achieve a perfectly religious life. One can only strive to do one more mitzvah than one did yesterday, last week, last month, or last year.
Just as it is impossible to do all of the mitzvot, it is impossible to live a perfect life in its other aspects, as well. The choices that each of us make define us, and as much as it is tempting to look at someone else's decisions and assure ourselves that we would have done it differently, we really have no idea if that is indeed the case. To reach the point of decision, we would have had to have led the same life, with the same experiences, right from the beginning. That is also impossible. Each of our lives is a personal journey, and the goals we have are entirely subjective. Your goals are not my goals; your struggle is not my struggle. There are times where we have much in common, and times where we couldn't be further apart in attitude, experience, ability, drive, purpose, and methodology. That does not mean that the inherent value of either of us is less than the other, it's just different. There are times where we will walk together for awhile, but much of our personal journeys will be alone, separated from one another.
It is that separateness that gives us our unique, individual flavours. Our personalities develop in those spaces of solitude. While we may react and discover things about ourselves in the company of others, some of which we like, and some which we do not, it is in solitude where we are able to reflect and make decisions about who we want to be, what a "better me" looks like. It is in the company of ourselves that we are able - with intention - to decide just who we are.
I know firsthand just how damaging the expectation of perfection can be. My brother and I are eight and a half minutes apart. As the eldest child, I was expected to be the "perfect little boy". I was polite, intelligent, athletic, the whole package. Many of the same expectations were put onto Matijs' shoulders as well, and together we carried the burden of "perfection" relatively well. When we were 9, my brother died. This left me with with not only the grief of losing the one person who was part of my life, 24/7 from the beginning, but also with the added burden of realising the perfect potential of not just one, but of two boys. Needless to say, I was unable to reach the new level of perfection expected of me, and quickly became a disappointment to my parents, my father in particular. I have lived through the damage done by expecting perfection; I came out of it mostly alright. It took a long time, but by finding others who accepted me as the imperfect person I am, and by spending a great deal of time in introspection, I've finally come to the point where I am happy with who I am, and where I am in life. I don't expect perfection of myself, but I do expect that I will continue to improve myself, and my situation in life.
My ultimate goal in the "helping professions" is to become a rabbi. My focus will be on grief counselling, family counselling (couples, youth), and advocacy for issues of Social Justice, which is one of the tenets of my faith. I see the lack of expectation of perfection to be an asset in this field, as I am under no misconceptions that any of us are anything more (or less) than imperfect creatures. As such, we all deserve the space to express our needs, our fears, our hopes, and our dreams - without judgement. The most I can do, and the best, is to help others to do one better than before. One step at a time, one day at a time, to improve the world around them, and their place in it.
I do not believe that we should strive for perfection, expecting to achieve it. We should instead strive to be a better version of ourselves. Perfection implies that there is no more work to be done, and while it is possible to become satisfied with our lives, they are by no means perfect. There is always room for improvement; which is a good thing. Otherwise, life would be pretty boring, with nothing to do.
The Second-Century BCE sage, R. Hillel said, "I get up. I walk. I fall. Meanwhile, I keep dancing." This has become the single most important motto by which I live my life. I will fail. Often. Miserably so. I will not stop trying, and no matter how much, or how spectacularly I fail; I will continue to dance, to smile, to laugh, to love. Imperfectly.
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